Boro 0 Exeter City 4 (FAC)

[CNN]

Phonetically speaking, 'FAC' is about right for the way this one went. I had a gut feeling about this game from early on - and this wasn’t one of those warm and cosy comforting feelings - no, this was a 'morning after a blow-out night that ends with a disastrous chinese take-away, all day hangover and a dose of the squits' feeling. See, I reckon that when we lock horns with the big boys (and let’s not kid ourselves Div. 1 is big), we need everything to be ‘just right’. By ‘just right’ I mean grim November rain, heavy Manor Park mud, frenzied fans leaning over barriers right in the opposition’s face from warm-up and a crushing FA Cup fear factor. Instead, we woke to a crisp, sunny day, LW has a fine, flat playing surface and offers an open and slightly anti-septic aspect, Exeter, although Div. 1, know what non-league is about and, having been fried in the cup last year, arrived with their heads in gear and the backing of plenty of noisy fans. Oo-er….

Boro lined up: Acton, Oddy, Dean, Pierpoint, Nisevic, Noon(C), Hadland, Marsden, Spacey, Moore and Dillon. Subs included: Armson and Murphy. There has been some debate about the official crowd figure, but to us there were visibly fewer at LW than there were vs Chasetown (3,111). The announced crowd of 2,452 (with 2,510 cited elsewhere) surprised some, but on reflection it was probably about right. Whatever the case though we were all set. Boro vs Exeter – resplendent in their Adders replica kit with thermo-nuclear explosion outfitted keeper – the thrill of the cup awaited!


The Boro kicked off the game playing towards the Away End. For many Boro fans this represented the high point of the first half - even though we gave them the ball straight away with a slightly limp punt forward. What followed was a bloodbath. Exeter came out of the blocks determined, confident and capable. They sliced through the Boro, who had flopped out of the blocks like 11 blancmanges, with truly alarming ease. By the time the fourth one slipped in I was already writing this report in my head, wondering whether to use ‘massacre’, or ‘annihilation’ to describe the carnage unfolding before us. I’m not sure either word suffices to portray the total disaster the first half represented -

Four (FOUR) minutes in and a corner led to a push and shove scramble which ended with Acco retrieving the ball from the net. The Exeter fans took a few seconds to register this as the Boro fans across the EWAIN (End Without An Interesting Name) stood stunned, but when they did react they seemed fairly happy about it. The second came from a long speculative shot that dipped and dived, deceiving Acco and meeting the back of the net to complete silence from the Boro end and, seconds later, a loud roar from the other. The third goal arose from an incisive run through, Acco saved well down low, but couldn’t hold it and a committed, back-tracking Hadland haplessly bundled it in. The fourth was a scrappy, scrambled thing. Five attacks, four goals. Not a great ratio really. The referee, in an act of mercy, closed the first half with a welcome toot of his whistle, leaving many Boro fans gloomily wondering where this was all going.

On a day when everything had to go just right, it had mostly gone wrong. Even so, there were still a few positives – we had got the ball in the net once (albeit given offside) we could do it again, it could have been five goals from five attacks, most Boro fans were still behind the team and, ah, struggling now, we had two bottles of wine in the fridge and a tasty lasagna in the oven with some garlic bread awaiting our return. Being ludicrously over-optimistic, if the Boro were going to get anything from this game we were in for probably the most exhilarating second half of our lives – but, could this ever really happen? (There's no F in way).

HT: 0-4
CNN’s HT Verdict: ‘***k it’.
Mrs CNN’s HT Verdict: ‘The lads are much better than this, they’ve not showed what they can do’.


As the second half got under way the members of the Nuneaton ‘public relations delegation’ headed straight from the bar and out of the gate, pausing only to launch a few bricks across the car park. Meanwhile, the football of the second period took on a subtly different dynamic to the first. Whether Exeter chose to sit back with their foot off the gas, or the Boro finally ‘got their stuff together’, or both (probably the case), we’ll never know, but the game became a much closer affair in which the contest was no longer who was going through to the next round (that particular game was up long since) but instead the challenge now became - could the Boro could get a consolation goal? (No). The mood in the EWAIN lifted slightly from suicidal to morose, then gradually shifted through resigned grimness to where a buoyant ‘b*ll*cks to it’ spirit took hold.

The backing for the Boro increased throughout the second half as the Boro lads gave it a real go. Although it remained largely men against boys, at least the lads were at last restoring some pride, showing some nice touches and building several encouraging attacks which had the EWAIN ‘ooh-ing’ as the Boro fans tried to wish the ball into the net. Some good shot stopping, some desperate defending, some bad luck, some shot-shyness and some rubbish shooting. All conspired to leave the score unchanged. At the far end Exeter mounted the occasional break, but each time the Boro defence held fast. It became clear that the game had gone as far as it was going to and the referee brought matters to a close. The Boro lads received extended and warm applause from the Boro fans, well earned for a second half rally which very nearly gave us that longed for consolation goal.

Over the years I have had the pleasure of writing (admittedly, largely b*ll*cks) reports for some truly wonderful Boro games. This wasn’t one of them, but it was a game which the best team won. They did so fairly and with good grace. This was never a close run thing, but it ended with the Boro lads having at least shown some of their spirit and ability. The fans left LW together and I wished two of theirs good luck in the next round as we passed. I did so without any qualms, although I felt sick at losing.

FT: 0-4
CNN’s FT Verdict: ‘Can’t argue with the result, wish we’d have got a goal though’.
Mrs CNN’s FT Verdict: ‘A better second half from the lads, at least they gave it a pretty good go’.

CNN’s entertainment rating: 5
CNN’s MOM: Noon

[CNN son]

Some days I guess your just not in good form, right?

[CNN]

Correct. Welcome to the match reports board Spud Gun!! - Now, go and do your homework...